09- North Carolina Squirrel Revival

Mother Nature bringing the Word!

A few hours ago my beloved and I were headed to the Wal-Mart. I know, that sounds like a great setup for a redneck joke. But I plead the fifth on that one.

One of the local churches was having a chili sale to support an orphanage. So, being the wonderful, thoughtful Christians that we are, we rushed to support the efforts. Okay, I know that one won’t fly. I’m a sucker for homemade chili, alright?

Then disaster struck. I had to pee. So we pulled into the Cook-Out parking lot. Under a big white car on the corner was a squirrel. My first thought was, be careful, little squirrel! You can get run over out here!

We went inside. Disaster averted. Ahhhhh! Since we were already there, we went ahead and got our breakfast. We’ll get chili later. I know it was 11 o’clock, but hey, it was Saturday and we slept in. As we ate, I kept thinking about the squirrel. It was gone, so I suppose it heeded my mental warning. Telepathic squirrel, that one.

I found myself wondering whether it was up in the engine bay of that car chewing wires and wreaking havoc. Squirrels do that sometimes, you know. And somewhere in between an onion ring and another bite of charbroiled hamburger, I got clobbered by what I can only describe as a message from the Holy Squirrel. 

The squirrel had given me no indication that it was up to mischief. He was just there, doing what squirrels do, scavenging for acorns and stray tater tots. But because I heard a story years ago about a misbehaving squirrel that caused thousands of dollars in auto repairs because it chewed up the wiring harness, I transferred that mischief onto the rowdy rodent under the big white car. 

Completely unrelated squirrels. Completely unrelated stories. And yet, I found myself wondering whether THIS squirrel was creating automotive chaos. Not because it was actively doing anything, but because it had the POTENTIAL to do harm. 

OMG there’s a Black man. Is he going to rob me? OMG there’s a cop. Is he going to knock out my tail lights and give me a ticket for broken tail light lenses? OMG there’s a gay man. Is he going to ask me out and make me confront my own sexuality? 

OMG there is the OTHER. Is he going to do the things that the OTHERS sometimes do?

A wise man once said that worry is a misuse of imagination. Did I mention wise? 

The Apostle Paul said whatever is pure, holy, good, etc., think about these things. Perhaps if I had been thinking about good things, it wouldn’t have taken a revival from a North Carolina squirrel to get my mind right.

With apologies, of course, to the one and only Ray Stevens.